22 October 2004

The Smudge

And so the wisdom has been passed: when magic swords fail, you must believe in yourself. Sometimes believing is all you have. Well, that and hope... hope that your sword gets its magic back in time for the big dragon fight at the end.

And so it came to pass that I read this article. I'm sure everyone I know has read it but the piece is one of the more entertaining I've read at the Onion in a few months, so I'll link to it anyway!

And so it came to pass that I divined The answer. To briefly answer Scott, though he has not yet thricely asked: Vasco Nunez de Balboa was the first European to see the eastern Pacific shore. He had led an expedition across the isthmus of present-day Panama in 1513 in search of gold; finding the Pacific instead, Balboa claimed the entire ocean and all its shores for Spain--much to the consternation and misfortune and utter conquest of the relatively local native inhabitants. Balboa's ultimate reward for his acheivements was a beheading at the hands of an envious colonial governor, Avila. Of course in Avila's defense, Balboa was still facing drawn-out charges of usurpation and just happened to be betrothed to Avila's daughter. Apparently that didn't go over very well.

And so it came to pass that the dragon attacked at the end. Look out! Ahhhhh!!! It's Trogdor!!! Run for your lives!!!! No, wait! Hopefully you believed just enough... if we're lucky enough... yes... YES!! The sword has remagicked! Goith thee forth and smite the mighty Trogdor and saveth thine peasants fromith evil! Ith!

[EDITORIAL NOTE: Tecnically one cannot defeat Trogdor within the game due to the fact that the character played is said Trogdor himself. But one can die quickly at the hands of the knights which is just as good. Also, one can enjoy the theme song.]
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